the first regret of my life

I regret going through college the way I have these past 3.5 years.

I regret all the opportunities I didn’t take.

I regret all the opportunities I decided to take too late.

I regret not focusing on the right things.

I regret taking so long to find my true passions.

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Here it is, the end of the first semester of my last year. I hate my major. I hardly have friends. I’m not close with my roommates. I’m not a part of RSOs that align with my passions. I haven’t helped a single survivor.

What am I doing. Why am I here.

I just want life to pause for like, five minutes.

I want to go back and change my major, take all new classes. I wish I had become a SAPA sooner. Then maybe I wouldn’t be such a waste of space every Monday night in that room.

Nick is leaving in a week.

I will be so alone.

I thought I made new friends last week but then I wasn’t invited to their get together.

People tell me I’m well-liked.

But no one misses me when I’m gone.